A New Beginning

My new goal is to write at least once a week. I want to be a writer; therefore, I need to practice my skills. 

Spring is officially here and I am enjoying it more this year than I have in a long time. Although I still think too much about the future, I am learning to appreciate the little things like the fresh scent of the mint fields, new baby blossoms on the trees, and cloudless blue skies. 

Since I drive thirty-five minutes to work, I have fully enjoyed the changing of the seasons these past six months. I can admire the landscape of a fall afternoon, a winter evening, and a spring morning. Each tree is a friend and every field is a home. 

My world feels topsy-turvy right now. I work in retail even though I have a B.A. in both English and Psychology. Graduate schools continue to send me rejection letters, which means I may have to go for my masters at my small state university. Then my health continues to cause issues and I am forced to stay at home most of the time. But the changing of the seasons is the one constant. 

It's funny that something made by God to change every few months is one thing I can count on in all of this struggle and stress. I must remain hopeful yet mindful of my present surroundings and circumstances. The future is always waiting but the present slips away in an instant.

College Graduate with One Paper Left

I graduated college and traveled the world...in the space of a month. I cannot believe sometimes that I ate my peanut butter and jelly sandwich while staring up at the Big Ben in London or that I carried my suitcase up a thousand steps in Edinburgh or that I slammed my leg into a rock in Galway, Ireland. Wait, I can believe that last one happened because I still have the throbbing shin and bruise to prove it. ;)

Even though I'm a college graduate, I have one last paper to write. My trip fulfilled my cross-cultural requirement, but I need to write the paper about my experiences and email it to my professor. I'm still succeeding at majoring in procrastination. I've been home for a little over a week and I'm avoiding that paper. If I don't write it, then I won't be a college graduate. I won't have to deal with the realities facing me: no job yet, student loans, the GRE, and grad school applications to submit.

But I will write the paper. I will write about the amazing experiences which words cannot fully describe. I graduated. I traveled five different countries. I turn 23 in one month. On to new adventures.

41 Days

I graduate from college in 41 days. At this time (4:15 p.m.) a month from now, I will be sitting and waiting for my diploma. No more homework, exams finished, and my life as a college student over.

It's a good feeling. It's also terrifying. I understand school. We get each other. College has a few surprises every once in awhile but four years have made those surprises less intimidating. Now I'll be going out into the "real world" and I'll make new mistakes.

I hate the idea of making mistakes. In my mind, I would like to be perfect at whatever I set my mind to accomplishing. But I'm not perfect and that's scary.

I'm a good student, but am I a "good" adult? I will I make good choices, be excellent at my job, and be the dean's list type of person I am now?

I don't always dislike change. Some changes have been for the best and I can admit that; however, this transition from college student to functioning adult will be the hardest change yet. I need to find a job that's not on campus. I need to start paying bills and loans as well as save money for future education. When I go to graduate school, I'll need to find an apartment in a strange city. I've never lived by myself. I've never even lived somewhere where I have to pay rent every month.

I want to grow up and leave home and be independent; I'm just not sure that I will succeed. What if I fail at being independent? I realize that no one can be completely independent. In some way, we all have to rely on each other because we're people and that's kind of how this human being thing works. Yet I want to be one of those human beings that lives away from home.

I'm terrified of leaving home and I'm afraid of staying. It makes life a little stressful.

I guess I'll just deal with graduation for now and I'll see what comes next.

Stereotypical First Post

Since midterms are approaching, I will not write a long introductory post. I'm twenty-two, a college senior, and ready to graduate.

I created this blog for the cliche reason of documenting my transitions and journey from this point onward. As you can see, I'm full of generics today. I mention this fact because I dislike generics. It stings my fingertips to write something that just anyone could have written (pretentious much?).

Maybe through this blog, I will learn to write and communicate better as well as bring some joy to others like you.

Thank you for reading and welcome.